also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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