well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
