All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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