It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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