i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
