My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I got chris browned last night
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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