He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
