He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
