North Korea, Best Korea!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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