I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
