Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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