so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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