your thong is hanging out like whoa
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize