Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
