dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
