come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
MIDGETS
????
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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