so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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