rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
