Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Porn is love you can see.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
