If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
