Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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