Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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