Say something about gay babies.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
should my penis look like a turkey
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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