on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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