Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
