quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
