If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize