i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
