I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
