why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
