shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
