I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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