im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
