Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You're so nebulous sometimes
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize