im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
