I think my fart just growled at me.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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