In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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