You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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