I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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