The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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