Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
