My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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