May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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