was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
