thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Life is so much better after having sex.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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