he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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