Where did you get a picture of my penis
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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