I am in a vortex of obligation.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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