when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
