My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
