yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
