My room smells like vodka and shame
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
