Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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