literally had 100 drinks last night.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
