You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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