I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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