I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
