I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
