wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
