im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
