Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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